Dazzling Sunflower

Volcano about to erupt

2011-06-05T03:53:00.000-07:00

My journey begins with thoughts that propel me to greater heights. Joy finally. For the freedom and adventure always buried and yearned for. It’s been brewing under the surface, now like a volcano it’s about to erupt. I can no longer silence and quieten my dreams…

I feel so much at peace with my decision. Finding my God given purpose and following it to the ends of the world. I want freedom from material baggage. Who needs 3 bedrooms when you only use one? A double garage, when you only have one car. Do I use a different door depending on my mood? A huge backyard you hardly go outside to.

So I want to be break free. I need to detox my system, declutter my home & life, minimise, keep things I really love and need. My prized possessions are my books, family pictures and music. No more baggage. Ask myself what makes me happy? What do I need for my life? I have always wanted peace of mind. Writing gives me that sense of peace. My dream is within my grasp. The question is am I ready to live my life, no limits, not by comfortable standards but a life of purpose?

It’s never too late to make mistakes, be silly, let down your hair and just be. Live in the moment and not carry the whole world on your shoulders. Wondering who will take care of things while I pursue my dreams. Who will do this or that. God gave us all an assignment, I cannot carry yours out for you. I cannot give you fish, you need to learn to fish for yourself. My legacy may not remain in monuments, statues, books of history and big mansions. But t will live in the hearts of those I love. Now is the time for me to pursue my dreams. Ignorance may be strength. But once you know what you need to do, it’s hard pleading ignorance.

* Win the lotto and quit corporate (hee hee hee)
* Travel, volunteer in the rest of Africa - Connect with international NGO’s, work and travel
* Community development work – children, youth, women and communities
* Writing to capture my travels and their struggles and phenomenal unsung heroes who didn’t make the history pages

If all else fails… Then I will pack my bags, next plane back home, pack away my pride, hang up my pen to dry, live humbly and fulfilled that at least I have attempted to live my curiosity, passion, adventurous dreams, seen some parts of the world, touched lives and carry the memories.

Something Inside So Strong - Labi Siffre

2011-06-05T02:52:00.000-07:00

The higher you build your barriers
The taller I become
The farther you take my rights away
The faster I will run
You can deny me
You can decide to turn your face away
No matter, cos there's....

Something inside so strong
I know that I can make it
Tho' you're doing me wrong, so wrong
You thought that my pride was gone
Oh no, something inside so strong
Oh oh oh oh oh something inside so strong

The more you refuse to hear my voice
The louder I will sing
You hide behind walls of Jericho
Your lies will come tumbling
Deny my place in time
You squander wealth that's mine
My light will shine so brightly
It will blind you
Cos there's......

Something inside so strong
I know that I can make it
Tho' you're doing me wrong, so wrong
You thought that my pride was gone
Oh no, something inside so strong
Oh oh oh oh oh something inside so strong

Brothers and sisters
When they insist we're just not good enough
When we know better
Just look 'em in the eyes and say
I'm gonna do it anyway
I'm gonna do it anyway

Something inside so strong
And I know that I can make it
Tho' you're doing me wrong, so wrong
You thought that my pride was gone
Oh no, something inside so strong
Oh oh oh oh oh something inside so strong

Brothers and sisters
When they insist we're just good not enough
When we know better
Just look 'em in the eyes and say
I'm gonna do it anyway
I'm gonna do it anyway
I'm gonna do it anyway
I'm gonna do it anyway

Because there's something inside so strong
And I know that I can make it
Tho' you're doing me, so wrong
You thought that my pride was gone
Oh no, something inside so strong
Oh oh oh oh oh something inside so strong

I want it all

2011-06-05T02:26:00.000-07:00

Get rich quick schemes

Have you ever been one of those people who keep their cellphones handy in order to sms to stand a chance to win this and that? Those gullible people who risk it all just to stand a chance to win it all? The 411 scammers know how to tap into people’s deepest wants. Apparently there’s a man in Australia who has lost his well earned money, risked all his life savings to release the millions promised to him by an unknown deceased “uncle”.

I found myself recently sms’ing, also being bitten by the “get rich quick scheme” bug. I never thought I’d be one of them. I was always the one telling my mom how she wastes money, airtime, post stamps etc entering these competitions. Telling her the odds are a million to one. I suppose her argument is what if she could be the ONE!

So I started thinking of the law of attraction. If you want it badly, you can have it. I want a weekend away, shopping spree, home makeover, wardrobe makeover etc. Come to think of it, I am focusing a lot on what I WANT rather than what I NEED. Then I realised I have been sufficiently blessed with so much, all my needs are met in abundance. Love, laughter, health, joy, waking up daily, being able to praise Him, support structures, work for my hands, food, warmth etc. I am grateful to have what I NEED, so what if I don’t have what I WANT?

At 30+, quarter life crisis and regressing...

2011-06-05T01:59:00.000-07:00

The rush, craziness, constant demands, wants, so much to do, so little time, checklists that never get crossed out, get up & go, hurried baths, shave on the run, make up in the car, road rage, leave & come home in the dark, microwaved meals, tv, rush, no time for gym, meetings, traffic, noise, deadlines, scream, stress, pressure, depression, loneliness, compulsive behaviours, freaked out, anger, where did the weekend go? Time, time, time, no quality of life... Phew! I forgot my trail of thoughts with so much to do.

is it a quarter life crisis? What crisis? Am I regressing? I guess I just want OUT!

I am just yearning for a deeper meaning in life, change, a 180 degree shift in lifestyle. Calmness, stillness, peace of mind and joy. I don’t see myself sustaining this lifestyle here… I want the simpler things, lighter load and to declutter my life.

Recently a friend and I decided to take a stroll around Wits campus. Reminicing about the good ol' days. It felt like we were back at varsity. Wits gave us the edge. We had everything on campus, the simpler finer things. Poetry, writing school, theatre, dance, hip hop, languages, gym, choir, counselling, parties, yoga, lawns, open spaces, academics, debates, engaging one’s mind and volunteering in local communities all under one umbrella. Now wiser and older I appreciate the time and opportunities we had. I mean I love my life and all that jazz...

However I would do anything to get out of this rat race, constant pressures, too many responsibilities, bills to pay, making major life changing decisions, constant need of an increase, changing careers, moving houses etc. No more bumming on the lawns and cutting classes. Now someone owns my time, freedom and ultimately owns me. I miss my volunteering days, going into the rural areas and local comminities to give back. What stops me now, you may ask? Time… this… and… that… Every precious time you get on weekends you want to use it for rest and relax before the following week’s grinding begins all over again.

Khalil Gibran, The Prophet says Work is love made visible. “If you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take alms of those who work with joy". I don’t really think our generation loves working. Not like my father’s generation, where they worked until they retired old, gray and sometimes too sickly to even enjoy their small retirement “fortune”. I think if given an opportunity, most of us would opt to stay at home. I would to, be a stay at home travelling woman. I have thought this all out. The things I would do to keep myself me sane, the important things I have been putting off due to lack of time. I would give anything to get out of this rush and travel, see new spaces, give my time to people who really need it, empower communities, write and capture my experiences and freelance. My time belonging to me, engage in certain community projects, have more time to cook, write, read etc. Oh the life of leisure. I think I was born for that. Until then I guess it’s back to the drawing board to find out how to gain the necessary exposure in order to make those dreams a reality…

Your passion and dreams lived out

2011-06-05T01:48:00.000-07:00

What did you want to be when you grow up? Do you still remember? Are you on that path? Are you aligned to your childhood goals or have fallen off track? And have others charted the path for you? I ask this because, I have allowed pressure, comfort, life and others to advise, live and chart my course for me.

Mother Teresa – that’s who I wanted to be and what I wanted to do when I was growing up. No one understood why the life of servitude, helping the needy and living a simpleton life. Everyone else wanted to be a doctor, scientist, own a mansion, drive this and that. I just wanted to travel the African continent and touch lives. That was my calling…

When I was in school I loved reading and writing. And in primary school friends would gather around my desk to listen to me tell stories. Funny thing was, even when I didn’t have an audience, I would still write and tell the stories to myself. In modern day, I would have been institutionalised for talking to myself or seeing imaginary things (or maybe being called a genius … I guess that’s another story for another time).

As I try to piece together what were my passions as a child, I ask myself, am I still living my passion in some way or another? Has my life been aligned to my purpose? Or have I fallen off. I find I was rather a loner as a child, I stuck to myself a lot, was very obedient, played when I needed to, but enjoyed board games, pen and paper , was kind to others and was always scribbling etc

Now I know I have always been passionate about writing and serving others. So as I take a bold step to fuse the two together in volunteering, working and travelling our glorious continent and touching communities, take this journey with me…

Is honesty the best policy...

2011-06-05T01:43:00.000-07:00

Guys, we all have hobbies and things we would like to do etc. Cooking, dancing, travelling, writing, clothing designing, singing etc. I love dancing, dance, dance, dance and more dance… From dance competitions, movies, stomp the yard, so you think you can dance, dance umbrella, jika majika, dancing with the stars, dance your butt/ ass off etc. I can dance to anything and everything (in my head). Ask me to stand up and dance, for the life of me somehow my mind and body coordination is not there. I know this… I can’t dance to save my life. Possibly the only Black girl I know who can’t dance. i guess i was at the back of the line when rhythm and mind body coordination was distributed.

We all believe we can sing, whether in the shower, during karaoke, choirs hiding behind others, singers, artists, while driving and singing along to some music etc. I was subjected to some terrible singing while watching Idols recently. I now don’t blame the judges with their cold and heartless responses. I mean, why do we let our friends and family go out there and have fun or make fools of themselves? When we know damn well they have no singing abilities? Why are we not honest with them to say: You can’t sing!

As the city sleeps

2011-06-04T18:47:00.000-07:00

I watch the golden bright lights
Shining at a distance
I look at just how marvellous technology is
And thank God for the brain He provided man with
I appreciate the golden sleepy eye peering in the sky
Unsure whether to awake and shine
The sun looks so warm yet dark
and holds promises for a sunny and bright day
Another day to hustle and bustle in Jozi

As the city sleeps
I drive past in my warmth and wonder what the day holds
I see an elderly woman on her way to work
Is there no one to accompany her at such an ungodly hour?
I stop and she gets in
Appreciating the warmth that surrounds her
A temporary refuge out of the cold
She tells me her ailing husband is in hospital
Her mother in law is taking over her household
Beaten by the world and the family "support" structure
She puts on a brave face
In order to put another meal on the table
She feels helpless as she goes off to work
As she gets out
I too feel helpless

Writer's block sabbatical

2010-05-08T03:00:00.000-07:00

Hey guys I have been on a self imposed sabbatical since last year, I had a major writer’s block. Felt a bit stuck. Two years ago a friend, Toetie Madlingozi Blonde invited me to come over for her wedding. I believe that small encounters reveal our soul to us, what our purpose is. I hopped onto a cab from Waterfront to town. The cab driver asked what I am doing in CT and what do I do for a living. The first thing that came out of my mouth was:”I am a writer.” Before I knew what was happening, I had “lied” to the man, how can I say that? How can I lie with a straight face? He immediately said he has a book that needs to be written, he needs an instrument to help him write it and send it out there. Each time I think of him I feel guilty cos I haven’t kept my promise – to contact him but also to be the writer I am… I suppose you expect me to come back with my creative juices flowing and ready to share more of my thoughts. I hope so too:)

My Afrocentric sistas!

2010-05-07T22:52:00.000-07:00

I was watching the SAMA’s recently and saw all the gorgeous Afrocentric sistas’ perform. And each time I go to the salon, I listen to soul sistas who have found their fayah. We are growing our natural hair, short, dreads, cornrows, braids or plaited. We are proud to be African and I am surprised how we criticise our fellow sisters who have silky weaves, wigs, plastic and chemically processed hair. How we feel they haven’t seen the light since we have “found” ourselves. I read Lebo Mashile’s article on her naturally groomed hair, how she looked up to Pamela Nomvete (Ntsiki, from Generations) and was disappointed when Pamela decided to relax her hair. It’s funny how natural and Afrocentric our hair is, yet we carry fake nails, unpluck all our eyebrows and draw them back on. We wear long skirts, long dangling earrings and doeks to cover our hair. We say we have found our style. But why do we constantly want to convert others? Shouldn’t we all be allowed to find our style sense and embrace it? We all are drawn to the light in our own time if need be. Who made us miss-know-it-all’s? Shouldn’t we embrace the diversity in each of us, rather than criticise those who still love their hair silkier, smoother and prefer pants to skirts and dresses? I thought being African means Ubuntu, humility, welcoming people in whatever state they are in and making them feel at home, letting them realise their dreams by themselves not trying to shape them into mini versions of yourself. – From a girl with chunky dreads and tired of fake Afrocentricity since it makes us mean spirited and intolerant of others. Let us let our sistas to find their fayah.

2010-05-07T22:39:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iikKzQwgBJc&feature=related

Queen The Show Must Go On Music Video

I’m a rocker chick through and through. The ultimate Queen of the band QUEEN! Nothing gets me through a long day like rock. It may be from Jon Bon Jovi, Queen, Rod Stewart, Meatloaf, Nickleback etc. Rock music gives me full blown attitude that says get up and go kick some butt. You can do it! “We are the champions. We’ll keep on fighting till the end. We are the champions of the world!” This is my taking a bow moment and an awe of the daily milestones and achievements. Weird that it saddens me at the same time.

We are born to be “princes of the universe”. If only we believed this, even if it’s just a fraction of this song, we would achieve so much more. We live and think poverty daily, what more if we just for one day believed we are worth more? How much more could we achieve? This is a redemption song for us as an African continent. We could conquer so much and achieve so much. We are royalty, princes of this universe.

When I want what I want when I want it song. “I want it all X3 and I want it now” (my impatient spoilt brat moments sometimes gets the better of me). I suppose we are synonymous with instant gratification. We need to start learning that planting a tree takes years of labour, preparation, nurturance but the fruits are sweeter. We are always in a rat race, yet never sit back and enjoy the achievements before moving onto yet another project check list.

Even when you are feeling down and under, just think the “Show must go on.” Life carries on no matter what. I remember when my Father passed away; I suppose I expected the world to stop and everyone around me to give me a moment of silence to pay their respect. Oh boy was I wrong. So whatever you are going through, remember the “show must go on!” Put on them big girl panties, get over it and move on.

“Fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go round” (even though Freddie Mercury was gay, he knew we needed some fat bottomed girls to make the world go round – Ode to my sistas who have ATM’s (African Trade Marks – let’s carry ourselves with pride).

We all have been to school athletics and have stomped on those stands and clapped to the beat of our victory song “We will, we will rock you.” Yep, it’s a golden oldie and there you thought you only listen to RnB.

“A crazy little thing called love.” This is one happy-get-up-on-your-feet-and-do-the-swing. Get up and grab that partner onto the dance floor, just let your feet move and follow your rhythm of love.

I have such phenomenal friends. Feel blessed each time I think of what I have been through with them and how we’ve stayed on. Even though I’m lousy at returning calls and visiting. But I have friends I can trust. “Friends will be friends.” Thank you for being my sisters and brothers.
“Bohemian rhapsody” is one of a kind song that has been adapted into different versions by diverse artists. However the original still holds a big place in my heart and makes a lasting impact. Queen still gets royalties in their retirement years.

“Don’t stop me now cos I’m having a good time.” While on leave in Cape Town in April, I had such a great time and realised I could get used to the life of Leisure. (Will have to write about that more, what crazy thoughts came to mind while on holiday).

The centuries long yearning for love could not have come better than in the song “Can anybody find me somebody to love?” Even Sade has a song sharing the same sentiments “Pls send me someone to love.” I guess I identify more with this song right now. At 32 never thought I would be single and still have to go out there and pick my soul mate. Thought this would be sorted by now. I suppose we all have an ideal age and natural progression in life. You go to school, study, fall in love, graduate, get a job, get married, have kids, retire and resign from this world. I guess some of us never abide by the rules:)

I sometimes “Want to break free” and get away from this man made shackles we call jobs. I need to follow whatever path that will bring me closer to my purpose and the life of leisure.
Rock music makes life like a “kinda magic”

Freddie Mercury was not only a vocalist, a lead singer but he was a musical genius a performer and an entertainer. He dressed up, showed up for his audience and dazzled! He gave it his best. He lived his life to the fullest and left a legacy. We still buy his music. “No one but you” One by one, only the good die young... Life goes on without you. new.music.yahoo.com/queen/

Paradox of Our Times - Nkululeko Maseko (R.I.P)

2010-05-07T22:26:00.000-07:00

Too often we love things and use people
Instead of loving people and using things
The times of big men with small characters
Many conveniences but still no time
Fancy big houses but broken homes
The paradox of our times
Deep ambitions and shallow hearts
Adding years into life but no life into years
What have we become?

Nkululeko Maseko - a promising young Art student, would have been, could have been one of the most influential TV personalities to date. Cancer robbed us of such a talented performer, dancer and actor in 2007. May your soul rest in peace.

That swine that flu away...

2009-08-23T05:00:00.000-07:00

I have been down with a terrible flu for the past 2 weeks. Dragged myself out of bed daily, joints aching, runny and burning nose, rough sandpaper throat, hoarse voice and a cough that threatened to break my ribs. During the day I felt as fresh as juice and at night as stale as milk gone off. Eventually I dragged myself to the doctor and doctor’s orders were clear, stay in bed for a couple of days to recuperate. I even had a mouth swab test for swine flu, but the labs are inundated with so many tests. While I positively wait for my results, I have managed to kick the swine and he eventually flu away, as I return to normality and show must go on. When and how do we know when to press the panic button???

I am grateful for my health more than the weight lost, that will be recovered soon... Hint hint... It's actually more tiring staying in doors. Now I know the meaning of as sick as a dog. Not sure why we use the poor dog though. Oh well, in great spirits now and running around buying gifts to 4 weddings. It's crazy shopping but am enjoying it.

TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE - Mitch Albom

2009-06-01T22:48:00.000-07:00

TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE – Mitch Albom

Mitch had a second chance to visit his dying college professor, Morrie Swartz. This was an experience of a lifetime, where he got to re-learn the lessons about life from a dying man with a wealth of knowledge. They had 14 wholesome Tuesdays together, where Mitch and Morrie talked about the importance of family, money, love, marriage and forgiveness etc. These are lessons that will change Mitch’s life. Most of us don't get a second chance. We wait until loved ones pass before spending time with them, telling them we love them, thanking them for being part of our lives.

Simple life lessons... All we truly need is love and compassion. What every being craves is to know they matter. If only we could live our lives simply without the rat race of acquisition of money, houses, cars etc. The book reminded me a lot about what I have lost sight of - simple pleasures, reading, spending time with people I love, friends, laughter, music and writing in my journal. This will be my next reference book :) After reading "Tuesdays with Morrie", for the whole day on Saturday, I decided to go spend a full day with my Grandmother. On Sunday I got out of bed, made plans to spend the whole day with Tutu as I call her. I decided not to buy her groceries this time, but to spend my precious commodity: TIME! I only visit to drop off groceries and feel ashamed to visit without leaving anything for her. But funny thing is she doesn't need anything, but my love and time. I have been saying she's the most important person to me, but spoil her with groceries (my duty is done) and starve her off my company. I spent the whole day on Sunday by the fireplace, cosy, we had lunch and for once I allowed her to serve me since she loves that. We chatted about life, marriage, health and about my love life. She has a wealth of knowledge I could tap into, from politics, sports to cooking and just taking care of myself from a nurse’s orders. Then she retreated to read the newspaper I brought her and I sat and just relaxed with no plans and somewhere to get to and things to be done. I just relaxed.... That was a weekend with Granny, well spent. I was reminded of how loved and truly blessed I am...

GOD’S SPOILT BRAT

2009-05-12T09:14:00.001-07:00

They say words create circumstances and situations. However words can also destroy futures and destinies...

He said ask and you (I) will receive... No one told me how powerful these words were. I have started asking in FAITH and have been blown away at just what and how much I have received. I feel BLESSED in every sphere of my life:

- My health
- My home
- Work
- Wholesome friendships
- Love
- Family
- Spiritual connection

I feel blessed in all the situations and people I have managed to attract into my life. Oh, don't get me wrong there are times when I feel drained and ask:"Oh, why Lord?" Then I realise every situation or person is here to teach me something about myself. I have learnt patience in my relationships, love, kindness in words (by the way I am one of those people with a sharp tongue if I choose to use it), praise when it's due, blessing others and for once allowing others to bless me.

I have so many things to be grateful for, like waking up every day and thank God for yet another day to shine, be an instrument, be at peace with myself and the world. I am not claiming to be a saint. When I fall, I rise. When I hurt, I try yet again to forgive. When I am angry, I work at releasing the anger. Concentrate on the good of the day.

Today I hid like a coward behind my fears. I forgot two important quotes I carry with me:
- What a difference it makes to realize that to be connected to God means His power is our power - John Maxwell
- Relax, God is in control

Tomorrow is yet another opportunity to try again... :) I will ask for courage and He will bless me with yet another tight situation to rise to...

EVOLVING YOU...FRIENDSHIPS

2009-05-12T09:08:00.000-07:00

It’s funny how we grow older yet are afraid of the changes we go through. We move from school, tertiary, work environments yet still want to hold on to what’s familiar – friends. As we grow taller and older we move away from brightly coloured floral clothing to more classic neutral clothing and find our fashion sense. We move from pigtails to elegant hairstyles. We move out of certain neighbourhoods/ schools and work environments. We change careers and relationships when we outgrow them. However we are too scared to change friends.

We want to drag our “childhood” friends with us throughout our lives. These may be friends we no longer have anything in common with. You have grown into two different people, yet you still want to hold on to friendships that tax you. All because we don’t want people to say “we have changed.” What is wrong with change? We move from one relationship to another when we no longer bring out the best in each other. Why do we feel the sense of loyalty? These are some of the reasons we hold onto these friendships are:
- Fear – anxieties about the future, fear of change – better the devil you know
- Care about what people think of you – not wanting people to think you have changed. HELLO! We have changed, what’s wrong with that? People will always have a certain perception of us regardless whether we encourage it or not
- They know me (secrets, warts and all…) – they’ve seen me come undone

It’s difficult ending a relationship or parting ways. Continuously we evolve and cannot drag with us taxing relationships, friendships or relations. Break ups don’t only happen in relationships, they also happen all around us with families, friends, colleagues or neighbours etc. The person I have become can no longer tolerate taxing friendships

The Girl In A Gray Dress

2008-12-15T07:53:00.001-08:00

In the scotching heat
She walks slowly
As if it to remind herself to keep moving
The sun penetrating the light worn out material she’s wearing
Sweat streaming down her face and back
She can hardly remember the last time she had a decent bath
It probably has been months ago
Looking down at her feet
Never knowing the comfort of shoes
Hard and cracked
Toenails long and brittle
Her hair looks like a jungle
Wild and unruly
Walking for miles to get to the river
To fetch water for the family
She slowly walks down the rocky path
Minding each step she takes
She stares at her image in the water
Her hair wild
Her face burnt
Looking at her gray dress
The only item of clothing she owns
Her big glittering smile
Proudly thinking how responsible she is
Fetching water for her family

END OF THE YEAR

2008-12-15T07:34:00.000-08:00

We’ve come to the end of the year
I am meant to introspect
To look at the year gone by
What have I done?
What have I learnt?
I have come a long way
I have achieved so much
And yet celebrated so little
Looking at what I went through
How much have I learnt and have I grown?
I thank Him for giving me yet one more year
To make mistakes, to learn, to grow, to share and touch lives
Yet one more year for me to count my blessings

CELEBRATING AN ANGEL...

2008-12-15T07:15:00.000-08:00

This is a long overdue tribute to my grandmother, Tutu Lenah Ntombizonke Tshangela. She turned 80 in April this year and I wrote this “thank you” piece on 02 Jan 2007. I have no way of thanking her for her contribution in my life, except to follow in her footsteps and serve with an open heart…

Some call her sister, mother, social worker, nurse, nurturer, Lenah and to her grandchildren we affectionately call her “Tutu”. This is my grandmother Lena Ntombizonke “Tutu” Tshangela.

A nurse by profession and a self made social worker. She has opened her heart and home to all those who have been shunned by the world…

She’s a mother of the nation to those who have come into contact with her. She has taken in, including bringing up two of her own. She has opened her door to kids from social welfare, nieces, nephews, cousins, grandchildren, neighbours, orphans, delinquents, strangers, including two of her own children, making us all feel at home and stretching a small meal to feed us all. She always says it’s not about money but just giving off your time and energy, that is the real sacrifice.

She once ran a community clinic from a container, assisting in HIV/ AIDS, condom distribution and sex education to teens and anyone who would listen. She even did home based care – caring for those who are bed ridden from HIV/ AIDS, cancers and or old age. While I was in school I accompanied her but not really understanding where her patience and passion came from? Why does she do it? She loves to serve others…

She’s an active community builder and her hobbies vary from HIV/AIDS, health, housing, elderly, orphans, human rights, reading newspapers, politics and a die hard soccer fan. If there’s anything I ever need to find out from the news and not sure who or what to ask, I ask Tutu, she has a wealth of knowledge. Talk about social intelligence. You can talk to her about anything; she is very open minded as well. She has given me the greatest gift of all, LOVE. Tutu once asked me how I will know he’s the one if I don’t try. These few words have helped me stop being afraid of loving or being hurt and take a leap of faith. She has opened up my heart to possibilities…Summing up my grandmother is impossible…

She was injured in the leg during the 1976 uprisings, yet never have I seen such tenderness, sweetness, humility and a forgiving heart such as hers. Her never say die attitude is breathtaking. Typical of grandmothers, she cooks, bakes, cleans and manages to be a mother to everyone. Nothing is impossible for her. No request too big. She gives tirelessly, willingly and gladly.

She’s taught me not to give away fish but to teach people how to fish as this will sustain them. Kids would come to her asking for money or food, in stead she would ask them to do her garden or take out the garbage and then she would in the mean time cook a lovely home made meal for them.

She is my greatest inspiration; she challenged my way of thinking. We always ask what’s in it for me. She is passionate about everything she puts her mind to. Whether be it cooking, cleaning, baking, taking care of others or reaching out to touch another’ life. She takes everything in her stride with a smile and an open giving heart. Never expects anything in return.

Tutu is a star that has not lost her spark. She’s one of the few people who are fulfilling their God given divine assignment. My grandmother has surely entertained angels in her lifetime.
I am challenged today to find my divine assignment… J

THE RIVER BATH

2008-12-15T07:12:00.000-08:00

Today we went down to the river to bathe

The water that was drawn is saved for cooking only

We arrived at the river with so many anxieties

City sleek kids about to commit a most foul act

Bathing in the river

How I wish I was home

In a bath or a shower

So spoilt for choice

There is no time for me to contemplate

Whether to bath or not to bath

We have no bathing water only cooking purposes

I felt strange, ackward and uncomfortable at the thought…

While others took a swim rather

My body knew better that it needed a good scrub

To cleanse it from the day’s working in the fields

I took it all off

Submerged my body in the cold water

I felt strange, weird and yet very liberated

No inhibitions

I am free

All one with nature

So in tune with my body was

the water trickling down my chest and spine

Cold yet tender on my skin

Clear as chrystal

Soothing to my skin

Then I realised I was not alone...

CALMING MORNING RISE

2008-12-15T07:09:00.000-08:00

Looking at a distant at this evaporating white coat
White layer of coat covering the earth
Like a blanket of fog
I feel the green hairs, fed by the white coat
Wet to the touch
I take a deep breath
Feel the calming air
that revitalises my soul
So fresh and crisp
From the hill top the river looks peaceful
Flowing with rhythm
In its golden rush
Richly nurturing its neighbouring plants
In the distance there are pigs and cows
Grazing from the freshly wet green hairs
I look at the time and realise
It is a beautiful morning in Mvezo Village

WHO ARE YOU TO SAY THAT…

2008-12-15T06:23:00.000-08:00

Who are you to say that
My clothes are rags and worn out?
That walking barefooted,
Embracing the green hairs of the earth,
Might be uncomfortable for me?

Who are you to say that
The mud make up I use
Is not good for my skin?
That it is a catalyst to my aging and wrinkling skin?

Who are you to say that
My bone structure is the sign of malnutrition?
That the assets I possess are not proportionally aligned
Or due to a deficiency in my diet?

Who are you to say that
The river that fed my generations,
Is contaminated and the cause of my illnesses?

Who are you to say that
My beautiful hut is neither comfortable nor spacious?
And that the dung I use for waxing smells?

Who are you to say that
Cooking on the ground outside my hut
Is not good for my posture?

Before you criticize
Or look down on me
Or pass judgment and label me
Find out who you are first
Learn to embrace where you are

THE PAIN I PUT YOU THROUGH...

2008-12-12T08:08:00.000-08:00

I can never understand
The huge baggage you carried
The sleepless, sweaty and heavy nights
All the changes your body went through
Your body rejecting even your favourite foods
All because of me

You kept me warm and safe
Sang me lullabies
When I stirred you would touch me
Just to let me know you are still here
I can never understand the pain I put you through

You had to endure pain for my wellbeing
Ready to hold me in your arms
To touch and kiss me for the very first time in months
Welcoming your new bundle of joy
With self sacrificing love
Vowing to be there all the days of my life